Tuesday, April 2, 2019

The Final Tweetdown!

Doot-doo-doooot dooooot.... doo-doo-loot-doot dooooot....

Doot-doo-doooot dooooot…. doo-doo-loot-doot dooooot….

WE BACK, MY PEEPS. It’s yours truly, Axey-faxey-fabulous, crawling back out from under my rock to—hssss! Is that sssssunlight…??…

Oof. It’s been a while. How… how do type?

…Anyway. You ain’t here for awkward nerd jokes. Why am I even back? C’mon, YOU KNOW WHY. In less than two weeks, our beloved Game of Thrones begins its final six episodes. This means six more Twitter posts by me, the oft-asthmatic @Axechucker, where I pop into the #GameOfThrones #ForTheThrone #DemThrones and #ThronesYall hashtags, comb through, find the funny (or the drama), and toss it out here for your amusement.

But why are we here? Season hasn’t even started yet! Well, for one, I’m testing this thing out! I sent five questions out into the Twitterverse, and the answers I received… Well. My followers haven’t lost much of their inherent weirdness. Let’s have a go, shall we?

So BAD news first: STORIFY is dead. If you haven’t noticed, Season 7’s Twitter posts are dust in the wind, as the Winchesters might hum. So if any of y’all were hoping to go back and read the old ones… lol.

R.I.P.

But the show must go on! This season I’m embedding Tweets straight into the post, so unless Watchers On The Wall goes tits up, we won’t lose these again.

But that means I can’t go on, and on, and… on. Alas (or… yay), this means these posts are gonna be much shorter. That’s how the balloon bounces. Step ya game up, or be lost in the dust!

I asked some simple questions. You gave me some not-so-simple answers.

QUESTION 1: Your level of hype for the return of ‘Thrones is _________

Winter is here, I guess Emotions come next!

(Whose house words are those again…?)

Abs seconds? Man, you could get a LOT of abs work in before the premiere! If all you’re doing is abs, every minute of every day up until the season begins. You could have abs like this guy:

(The rest will take a little longer.)

Thanos needs to get tf out of the way, it’s almost GoT time.

QUESTION 2: What is your greatest wish for this season? Conversely, what is your greatest fear?

…Yeah, that’s basically the sum of all our fears. Because:

Yarp.

DON’T STOP…. BELI-EVIN’…

Weirdly, I’ve never had a correct theory!

(My old “Starks are gonna go down as the villains in the history books!” theory still could… happen…)

…Dammit. Yeah, he’s gonna die.

I just want Brienne to finish writing his history in the White Book. Is that too much to ask? One of them needs to live!

Too late for you, brother. I’m sorry.

The only Littlefinger theory I’ll support is the one where Arya heads south wearing his face.

Arya’s fate is on a LOT of people’s minds!

SHELLY SHELLY SHELLY

#SHELLY #BANNED #MyFirstBanOf2019 #FootballReasons

Gurl, that throne gonna be a massive molten mass of melted metal before the final credits roll. Trust.

QUESTION 3: Who bites it first this season? And who d’you think is most likely to survive the entire series?

I feel like we’ll see Varys bite it too, unless Melisandre’s prediction turns out to be wrong. Chekov’s prophesy.

JONDALF.

…I ship it.

So long as the Peach one is saved for me.

The Pie That Was Promised.

QUESTION 4. If you had a message to give to the entire fandom, what would that message be?

lol

Right? Only 6 eps to go. We… we can totally do this …!

And as we know, Gendry knows all about whinging.

Amen, Kevan.

Aw. We like some of you too, Bri!

And I just wanted to say… Thanks, Hodor.

QUESTION 5. Finally, if you had a message to give to one of the writers, actors, directors, etc… who gets your message, and what does that message say?

I giggled.

Lotta love for Ramin. I dig it.

I mean… Shaggydog’s severed head was too small… coulda had more Ghost…

Other than that…?

Eh.

No give it to meeee

It’s too late, kid! They either already fucked it up or didn’t. This is either season 5 or season 6. We’ll see! I’m a hopeful bastard.

I’m gonna say…. it may be too late?

But who knows! They always* read the Twitter posts. Anything’s possible!

(*sometimes)

If you wanna join in on the fun, follow me and follow @WatchersOTWall on Twitter — let’s celebrate this final season together!

See you in less than two weeks, nerds!

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