Unsullied Recap, Game of Thrones Season 6 Episode 8: No One

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Unsurprisingly, the world of ice and fire has simultaneously gone to shit. We bear the burden of trying to sort it all out, and a man has mixed feelings regarding all of it.

Once again, thank you for joining us at the Wall and in joining your fellow Watchers as the end of the Season draws to a close.

Would No One deliver the goods? The jury is still out, because as it relates to Game of Thrones, the only fair way to judge is taking into consideration the entirety of the Season and we’ve got two more to go. Let’s make the best of it…

 

Arya really Arya?

Apparently, all of the speculation as to whether or not Arya was really Arya when she got stabbed were as accurate as my most of my recent conjecture.

We open up with the “Thrones on Broadway” troupe performing in the longest running Braavosian play ever.

Lady Crane goes back to her dressing room to find a bleeding Arya and takes her in to nurse her back to health. The injury wasn’t as deep as it seems, apparently. Maybe the Waif didn’t twist the blade at all. Maybe it was all an illusion. Tell you what… let’s come back to this.

The Axechucking Hound

The Hound catches up with four “bunghole” members of the Brotherhood Without Banners and makes quick work of the jokesters, as well as earning a nomination for the coveted “Ouch, That Shit Hurts Award” for the “axe to the nuts” shot. But yellow cloak is nowhere to be found, and the Hound seems to be back to his old form. The search would continue, so let’s come back to this as well.

Meereen

Varys and Tyrion tour the grounds to find a much-improved disposition among the inhabitants of Meereen. Varys has decided to sail off to Westeros to rally support and perhaps find some ships. If only Yara and company had not stopped off at the Volantis whore store, this parting of ways could have been avoided.

Tyrion once again prompts Worm and Missandei to bond over wine and jokes, while someone somewhere starts photoshopping “Imp’s Delight” on a bottle of red Moscato. But just as they are getting into the Tyrion mood, ships of the Masters are shown arriving.

Later, in one of the few truly epic scenes of the season, Meereen is under attack by the Masters’ ships and Tyrion and Worm are left scrambling as to their next move. But just as the walls start to crumble, Dany reappears and takes charge.

Varys either knew things were about to go awry or continues to have impeccable timing. I can’t decide which. Could he be headed for Dorne? Somehow, the show has to be planning on including that story line at some point, right? Or, did he really leave at all? And if so, wouldn’t he have seen the passed the Master’s ships on the way out?

Apologies… I seriously overthink sometimes.

With the city under attack, this seems like it would be an opportune time for Yara and the Greyjoys to show up as well. Or to let the dragons free. Or both. But why would Drogon fly off with Meereen under attack leaving Dany in danger?

Choosing Violence

Finally, we get some action in KL with the quote that many of have been waiting for since the preseason trailer.

Cersei is confronted by seven members of the faith militant (including former lover, Lancel Sandwich). When Cersei delivers the quote, one of the members puts a dent in the hood of the Mountain’s car and in turn has his head removed.

Cersei, Qyburn and the Mountain would attend an announcement from Tommen regarding the trial date for her and Loras. Tommen would then announce that the realm would no longer accept “trial by combat” as an option, putting Cersei in a very precarious situation.

This at least gives us a little bit of a twist in what has been a season with very few of them, even if it was somewhat predictable given the game the High Sparrow is playing.

The confusing aspect was the mention of the rumor at the end of the scene between Cersei and Qyburn. After strolling back through my memory, I don’t recall a rumor being discussed. But I’ve got a decent guess of what it may involve.

Desperate times indeed.

Riverrunning to Jaime

Brienne and Pod make it to Riverrun to see the castle under siege. Brienne meets with Jaime to discuss a possible solution for each of their issues, but only if the Blackfish accepts. And of course, he doesn’t.

I found it interesting that many of the historical events that have transpired in past seasons came to a discussion between Brienne and Jaime in a tent outside of Riverrun. If Jaime has forgotten exactly how the situation came to this point, he is reminded by someone for whom he cares for. Perhaps, this leads Jaime to change his way of thinking?

Nope. But it truly was one of the best scenes in the episode and captured the emotion behind the predicament the two are currently embroiled in.

Jaime would later confront Edmure and would make it clear that all he really cares about is getting back to Cersei. While Edmure seems strong-willed and makes Jaime reflect on the decisions he has made, he eventually reveals his weakness and orders the Tully army to lay down their arms and surrender.

Let’s be honest… the Riverrun scenes were some of the best from this episode. And this is my conflict: the whole storyline makes it feel as if it was set up as a simple way of getting Jaime out of King’s Landing so that the faith militant can further their control of Tommen and the continued torment of Cersei. Perhaps it is justified.

Then, we bring back a great character that has somehow survived since the red wedding just to kill him off, which has been a common trend all season. And even then, the death of the Blackfish was not depicted on-screen. Granted, an on-screen death is not all that important, but ambiguous death numbers have become commonplace on a show that is known for demonstrating violence.  Maybe the gratuitous violence grumblers have made an impact on the show runners.

Something to Cheer About

As the Hound continues his hunt for little yellow riding cloak, he comes upon three men about to be hanged. And I’ll be damned if it’s not Richard Dormer and Paul Kaye.

I won’t even ask about Anguy, because two out of three ain’t bad. Beric and Thoros invite the Hound to join them while echoing the sentiments of Septon Ray that it’s not too late to change.

I’m incredibly happy to see the BWB back after their lengthy hiatus. It’s also good to learn that they are still the good ol’ Robin Hood types we knew from Season 3. For me, this was easily the highlight of the episode.

Arya Kidding Me?

So, just go ahead and tell me what I missed.

Again, in a particularly predictable scene, the Lady Crane is murdered by the Waif in order to finish the job on Arya. However, Arya seems almost entirely healed thanks to the healing powers of milk of the poppy and is able to jump from tall buildings, slide under a cart, break her leg, roll a mile down a stretch of stone steps, squeeze some oranges, make it back to her apartment, collect Needle, extinguish a candle, and kill the Waif in the dark (a nod to her skills learned while being blind acknowledged).

Then, after all of that, she cuts off the Waif’s face and takes it back to the Hall of Faces to confront a man who could presumably kill her at will. And, seems completely healthy.

Jaqen tells Arya that she is No One, but Arya states that she is Arya Stark, and that she is most definitely going home.

At this point, it’s probably best for her (and the show).

Episode 608 Personal Awards

Favorite Quotes:

“Those are your last words, fuck you? Come on, you can do better.” -The Hound

“You’re shit at dying, you know that?” – The Hound

“I choose violence.” –Cersei (awesome… just needed more of it).

“Move aside, Ser.” –Lancel Sandwich

“Everyone wants to hit a fucking squire.” -Bronn

“Anyone not drinking is disrespecting our Queen.” –the guy at every party who guilts everyone to get as drunk as he is

“How do you tell yourself you’re decent after everything you’ve done?” -Edmure

“Drop the arrow, you bloody girl.” -The Hound

Best Return Character (and highlight of the night): Thoros of Myr and Beric Dondarrion!

Gratuitous Penis Shot Award: The Hound

Ow, That Shit Hurts Award: Tie between the Mountain head removal and the axe to nuts courtesy of the Hound

Jackass Award: Whoever made the decision to kill off the Blackfish (although I completely understand his honor and fighting for his home until death, I still don’t have to like it).

Season 6 Penis Count: 2

Overall Thoughts: Look, they can’t all be fantastic.

No One had some spectacular moments including the Riverrun scenes (although I wasn’t amused with the overall outcome), the return of the BWB, and that one shot of Meereen being attacked.

And I’ll admit, my expectations for this episode were abnormally high. And maybe that was because I was looking for an escape after the weekend’s events that make me question whether or not we should even be allowed to exist.

But again, as has been the case with GoT from the beginning, judging an episode on its own merits is not necessarily fair to the entirety of the story being told. This one definitely had issues with flow. Regardless, I am pumped about next week.

We are most certainly in need of an Epic 9.

The hell with me… what did you guys think?  Holla!

Until next week, hang out and stay awhile. Invite an Unsullied to join us. And may there always be peace in your realm. –Oz

Find Oz on Twitter.

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