Wednesday, May 15, 2019

The Tweets – Part 2

kl burning

Twitter post, Part the Second.

Where were we?

Ah, yes… The Bells Did Toll!

BONG…. BONG…. BONG….

Quarterback down! R.I.P the Packers season. AGAIN.

R.I.P. Rickon Stark.

New phone who dis?

(Now he knows what it feels like to be Ghosted.)

Always.

So let’s check in on Jon Snuu.

Jon saves woman from a Stark soldier… but yooo.

Jaime makes his way along a rocky alcove by the shore…

And lo and behold who should be there?!

MEANWHILE: DRAGONFIRE IS NO JOKE.

Ron Howard: Most were actually named “Khaleesi,” which means “Queen” in Dothra—

ANYWAY BACK TO JAIME VERSUS EURON…

It was not going well for House Lannister.

Jaime took the W. But at what cost?

Back within the spires of the Red Keep, Cersei finally realized she lost.

Speak of the devils:

“Look at me! You wanna be like me?”

So Cersei and Qyburn were fleeing, the roof caving in on top of them…

And then lo and behold—a wild Sandor Clegane did then appear!

… AND Y’ALL KNEW WHAT WAS COMIN’…

CLEGANEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWL!

HHHHHHYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!!!

Qyburn tried to be a player-hater, but…

…Ayyy.

Alas, Cersei smartly (and gingerly) beat feet.

OH THERE WERE A FEW

So Jaime finally found Cersei…

Alas.

I was dead wrong on my strongly worded, loudly voiced opinion.

I really thought he was gonna kill her.

I owe like 200 people something like 400 beers.

I’d kinda be down with that. King Gendry Baratheon, First of His Name.

Meanwhile, Cleganebowl was like… Sandor trying to chop down a mutated oak tree.

“That’s what you’ve always been.”

UnMountain was no joke. He was straight up about to Oberyn his little brother.

He got out of there.

So Cleganebowl is a… draw?

Ehh.

I guess I can live with that.

Um, so let’s check on Sandor’s #1 biggest fa–

Oh dear. Sorry, kid. 🙁

…SO!

BACK TO THE MAYHEM ON THE STREETS OF KING’S LANDING…

Arya visits firsthand the horrors of war.

Mad Mak out here doing better than me, I didn’t know Thom Yorke-haircut woman even HAD a name.

You go, Nora.

Next thing we knew, Arya Stark was leading a rescue!

Nope. FIRE IN THE HOLE!

ABORT! ABORT!

So Jaime led Cersei past the dragon skulls…

But all ways were blocked. End of the line, Lannisters.

So… uh… Cersei Lannister and Jaime Lannister died together.

After the dust settled… finally…

Well, shit was rough.

Always look on the bright side of life!

This ending, at least, felt VERY George R. R. Martin.

And then the episode was over. Bam.

Bruh.

SHOTS FIRED, OBIEEE!

“Next week on the SERIES FINALE of Game of Thrones…”

People had some issues, of course…

I found a rather nuclear reaction:

Adam: NOT HAPPY.

Sure!

1. Bran: Don’t know, reserving judgment until Sunday.
2. Arya: Don’t know, reserving judgment until Sunday.
3. Brienne & Jaime: ….Yeah, feels like a waste.
4. Cersei: ….I’ll let Sarah answer that one:

Wasn’t just Jon. Some people took issue with Dany’s “madness” arc…

That you would judge and punish the innocent for the actions of the few is telling, Kaling.

There’s no such thing as an evil city. They literally showed us the many innocents lost during Daenerys’ queenmaking.

This is me judging you.

Follow that thread; he’s got some good shit. BFish still out here winning, nerds.

Y’all can’t contain him. You can only hope to stop him.

But let me tell you, there was a LOT of rage for how Jaime’s arc ended…

SAME FAM.

Some disbelief for Cersei’s arc was flying around too…

I stan.

….but not everybody hated the episode.

And here was a little even-keel reason from our very own Sansa Snark:

I got nothin’ that’ll top that!

WE GON’ BE THERE!

Some love went out for the actors, of course, Lena and Emilia in particular:

Emmys for Lena and Emilia, fer the love of pizza!

The next day…

Okay, I’ve been told there will be NO MORE three-part Twitter posts, so we’re ending it on THAT.

Seeya next week, nerds—and that’ll be that!

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